When is the last time you said “no” to someone else and “YES” to yourself!?
Whether you’re a self-admitted people pleaser or not, we all have people-pleasing tendencies we tend to do when it comes to our friends and families. Why is it so hard to say “yes” to ourselves every once in a while!?
Today, I’m talking about how people pleasing is keeping you from meeting your goals. I’m giving you THREE steps to kick it to the curb once and for all. This one’s for you, mama. Your health and fitness, and your HAPPINESS, is worth saying “yes” to!
How it’s Affecting Your Goals
Maybe you’re used to not saying “no” to others and “yes” to yourself. Next thing you know, you’re not meeting your goals! Sound familiar?
My name is Rachel, and I help moms lose weight, find the time, and find the resources they need to hit their goals. I’m here today to point out ways that I can help you to say “yes” to yourself!
I talk with a lot of moms about their health and fitness and usually around 80% of the time they tell me they feel like they’ve let themselves “go.” They feel like they give 100% of themselves to their husbands and kids and don’t have the capacity to care about themselves as much as they’d want to.
A lot of times I’ll hear moms say, “I feel overweight, I feel tired, I feel like I just don’t have any energy anymore and I’m sick of it. It’s time for me to put myself first.”
So how do you combat this? I want to help you put yourself first. It’s about making time for yourself and making yourself a priority. All of those things are gonna make it so that you can meet your goals.
It’s Not Selfish!
Before I share the three ways to quit people pleasing, I want to point out that doing something for yourself is NOT selfish! If you want to be healthy, it’s not selfish. Your workouts are good for your kids, too. Why? Because it’s good for your kids to grow up seeing you have your own goals. It’s good that they see you’re making your health a priority!
Stop trying to please everybody else and take care of yourself first. Because a healthy mama is a happy mama!
Let’s Dive In
Step One: Identify your people pleasing tendencies.
Take a second and really identify what it is that you’re doing. A lot of times we don’t even know that we’re doing it! Really take a look and spend some time thinking. Where are you trying to please everybody else and where are you letting go of yourself? Are you making things that only your kids want for dinner? Are you skipping your workouts? Where are you trying to people please in order to keep everybody else around you happy? Where is it leaving you kind of unhappy?
I’d like to encourage you to make a list. If you need to, get out a notebook, and make a list of all the ways that you’re people pleasing and all the ways that you’re letting yourself go and not making time for yourself.
Step Two: Figure out how to start saying no.
Now that you’ve realized all those places where you tend to people please, it’s time to start taking the steps towards saying “no.” This is going to be the hard part, and this is really where the support of others comes into play.
One way that’s helped me is my free Facebook group. Moms will post in the group when they need some encouragement that they’re doing the right thing. Maybe they’re worried their kids will get bored during their workouts or that their husbands will be upset that they’re taking time to work out when it interrupts family time.
Guys…let me honest. Thirty minutes is all it takes to get in a workout. Stop the problem before it starts! Have a conversation with those people that you are trying to please and just say something like this:
“Hey look, I’m not trying to put you on the back burner. I’m not trying to make you mad. I’m not trying to make you be upset with me and I’m not trying to dump you in any way. I just really need to take this time for myself.”
If you just start doing it without that conversation, that’s when they get resentful and may not be as supportive as you’d like. But if you talk to them about it ahead of time, they are more likely to try to get on board with it. You’re going to get a lot less resistance than if you just do it without talking to anybody about it.
Step Three: Start saying it!
Now, you’re going to start saying “no.” When your kids say, “Mom, will you make us breakfast this morning? It’s a Saturday.” You’re going to say, “Not right now, I will do it after my workout.”
When your kids say, “We really wanted to make pizza tonight,” you’re going to say, “No, we’re going to eat something healthy.”
When somebody at work asks you to stay after a couple of extra hours to help them with something, asking, “Can you do that for me? You’re always so good, going the extra mile.” I want you to say, “Nope, I need to go home and do my workout.”
You’re going to start saying “no” to everybody else so that you can start saying “yes” to yourself!
While at first, it will be hard, it’s going to get easier and easier over time. The more you start taking time for yourself, the better you’re going to feel and the more you’re going to want to keep on doing it. It’s a pretty simple three steps!
It’s time to say “no” to the things that are not serving you. I am not saying by any means that you need to be selfish and neglect your kids or not put in the time that you need to complete your job.
But I am telling you that making yourself a priority, putting yourself first, and letting go of those people-pleasing tendencies is going to be the key to helping you meet your health and fitness goals. It’s going to make you feel good. And guess what happens when you exercise and you eat healthily?
You’re happy or you have more energy. You have more time and energy to do things with your kids or to do things at your office! It’s all going to benefit you in the long run.
Taking care of yourself first is what is going to help you take care of others. How you are going to stop being a people pleaser today. Where are you going to start? I can’t wait to hear!
Please feel free to share this with any of your mom friends who may find themselves in that people pleasing mode.
I help frazzled Moms make it happen. Do you believe that you can take care of yourself, have an endless supply of energy, and finally lose weight? Are you interested in learning how?
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