I want to let you in on a little secret…time for yourself does NOT mean that you aren’t choosing your family. Time and time again I hear this sentiment from moms who feel guilty for choosing themselves at times because they feel as if it means they’re not choosing their families. FALSE!!
I will be honest, I too used to believe this thought. That if I chose myself (took time for a workout, a massage, or just some zone out time) that I was neglecting my family. It got so bad during the first year of my oldest daughter’s life. She was attached to me (literally) 24 hours a day. I created a situation where I got ZERO alone time. She slept with me at night, on me during the day, and had to join me in the shower because she did not know how to self-soothe or be alone (see the theme here – we were both struggling with how to have our own identity).
Motherhood had become something that I had not imagined and to be honest, I was miserable. All in the name of devoting myself 100% to my kid. As I got more miserable, could not lose the baby weight, and was EXHAUSTED, I realized I had become a pretty crappy mama.
It took about a year of this before I realized that I needed to change…for her and for me. I decided to pick one self-care activity that was going to be just for me. Since I REALLY wanted to find my pre-baby body again, I chose a workout. So, I purchased my first complete at home workout program. I had done other at home workouts before but nothing like this. I was committed to 6 full weeks. I found someone to watch my daughter and some days she did it with me.
It was magical. I felt like my pre-baby self again and she was learning to survive on her own. WIN-WIN!!
As a result motherhood became more of what I thought it would be. I had more energy, lost the baby weight, and was just plain happy. I could see that this was good for my family so I began to add more and more self-care. I took time to get my hair done, meditate, and watch some TV and eat ice cream!
Your family is important to you – I get that. Your kids are the most important and you want to be there for them at all times.
But the thing is, we tend to often forget about ourselves in the process. When you choose yourself sometimes, you choose a happier and healthier life. Because you choose a life that has room for growth, for fun, and for health.
Time for yourself does not mean that you aren’t choosing your family. In fact, it makes you even better FOR them.
Want to figure out how to fit in that self-care time for yourself? Follow these steps!
- Start small. Just start with 5-10 minutes a day and work your way up to at least 30 minutes a day.
- Pick something that you used to LOVE to do but that you just don’t make time for anymore.
- Decide how long that it will take for you to do…start to finish.
- Schedule it on your calendar. DO NOT cancel for any reason!
- Find someone to care for your kiddos (if necessary).
- Make it happen!
- Reflect on how you felt. Journal about it. Tell someone about it. Relive the moment as often as you can so that it becomes part of who you are.
- Do it again tomorrow!
If this is something you struggle with, let me know. I’d be more than happy to talk through this with you. It can be tough. Hang in there, mama!
Want to learn more about how you can make time for yourself no matter how crazy busy your schedule it?
I help frazzled Moms work make time for the things that they need to do for themselves to lose weight, build confidence, and increase energy. Do you believe that this can happen for you so that you can finally lose weight? Are you interested in learning how?
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